Becoming a mom is one of the most amazing things in life. It is also something that alters the course of life for women forever. Most of the ways are positive, such as finding out what patience really means, how to be more sympathetic to others, and having confidence in decisions made. But a way that is less positive is how easy it is for women to lose themselves after having babies. Something that can take some work to get back to.
Of all the things women try to prepare themselves for when becoming a mother, losing who they are not on the list. This is because it is not something that women even think about happening. Therefore, when it does, it can be a shock as it is a gradual process that happens.
There is likely a trigger that occurs that suddenly makes them aware that the women they once were, they no longer are. And this is something that should be embraced because women are not the same after becoming mothers. But that does not mean that everything they were before should be lost in the process.
Here is why it is so easy to lose yourself after having a baby.
Life Is All About Baby
One of the most obvious reasons that moms lose themselves after babies arrive is that life becomes all about babies. Babies’ needs trump the needs of mothers in many cases. And when the focus is solely on another versus taking time for oneself, over time it becomes easy to forget who a person is. Something that moms know very well.
According to LiveScience, when this happens, mothers have less satisfaction with motherhood versus when they utilize the help and still try to put themselves first occasionally. But with many believing that the needs of mothers become null and void after the birth of babies and that mothers are on board with this, it is not surprising that many mothers are not as happy with motherhood as they thought they would be.
Freedom That Moms Once Had Is No Longer Possible
Having the ability to do what women want when they want to do it is something that no longer exists after babies are born. And that can be a huge life adjustment for many.
According to BabyCentre, it is very normal for women to miss the freedom they once had before becoming mothers. With the loss of freedom also comes a loss of control, according to the publication. Both of which can make mothers go through a gambit of emotions daily when thinking about the direction of their life is going.
But by digging deep and discovering EXACTLY what part of freedom is missing, according to BabyCentre, moms may be able to incorporate some of that back into their lives. And by doing so, less resentment will likely be felt for the way life has changed so dramatically in a short time.
Self-Care Happens Infrequently, If At All
Long days used to mean that a relaxing bath could be taken. Facials and massages were necessary to keep stress under control. Working out was a daily requirement to feel healthy. All things that may fall away as women become mothers and forget the importance of self-care.
After babies are born, self-care may not look the same as it once did. But that does not mean activities that help to center moms, make them feel good about themselves, or increase their health should be neglected.
According to VeryWell Family, it may only take 10 minutes per day to practice some sort of self-care to rejuvenate moms. And while moms may not feel like they need self-care, as soon as they participate in it, they realize just how necessary it truly is to their mental and physical health.
Identity No Longer Revolves Around Career
The biggest change for a lot of women is how their lives are no longer centered around their profession. Instead, babies become more important than work, something that can be difficult for moms to wrap their heads around who’ve valued career over everything.
When moms suddenly cannot stay late at work because they need to get home to their babies or if women made the decision to leave work to be stay-at-home moms, there can be a struggle in how they identify themselves. This change can leave women feeling resentful of their new lives and maybe even regret decisions made. But this does not make them bad moms. It makes them confused.
When this happens, moms need to figure out what their lives look like now with babies in the picture. As soon as this happens, a new and perhaps even better identity can be created. And mothers will realize they are capable of much more than they ever imagined.
Moms No Longer Recognize Themselves In The Mirror
Looking in the mirror and seeing themselves in an outfit worn for several days, with disheveled hair, and dark circles under the eyes, women may not recognize what they see. This can be disconcerting. And it can be at these very moments that it becomes clear that moms have lost themselves.
Is the version in the mirror of women a true representation of what they have become? Of course not. But it can make women see that they want to redefine who they are. And instead of seeing this version of themselves as something to be upset about, it can instead be seen as a clean canvas to create their best selves yet. Something that never would have happened without becoming a mother.
Source: BabyCentre, LiveScience. VeryWell Family