There is a stark difference between the first pregnancy and the second. With the first child, there is an energy that consists of a combination of excitement and anticipation of the unknown. The second time around, there is more knowledge and first-hand experience as to what pregnancy is all about.
And because of this and already caring for another child, having the energy to exude as much enthusiasm can be exhausting. As such, moms may not be as excited about being pregnant the second time around.
When the level of excitement of a second pregnancy does not match what it was for the first, it may come across as though mothers are not as delighted that they are pregnant with their second baby. However, there are many more life logistics that come into play when having to take care of other children as well as themselves, especially if morning sickness or other pregnancy complications rear their ugly heads.
But, in the midst of all of this, most second-time mothers cannot wait to meet their newest bundles of joy. Even if the journey getting there is not as thrilling as the first.
Here is why moms may not be as excited about being pregnant the second time around.
Pregnancy Firsts Have Already Been Done
According to What To Expect, with the first baby, everything pregnancy-related was the first experience. The first sonogram, first flutters of baby movements, first buying of baby clothes, first buying of maternity clothes, and more. The same is not there for the second baby. And because of this, it can get hard to get excited about the second pregnancy.
Just because there are not a lot of firsts when it comes to many pregnancy-related events or activities with the second baby, that does not mean that new firsts cannot be created if that is what it takes to feel more excited about being pregnant again.
- Try a prenatal yoga class if that was not done the first time around.
- Go on a babymoon to get away from it all and celebrate the second baby.
- Have a baby sprinkle if the gender of the second is different from the first.
There are creative ways to have firsts for a second pregnancy.
First Baby Is Taking Up Attention
When women were pregnant with their first babies, all they had to worry about was taking care of themselves. Many times, that meant napping when the desire struck. But, when there is another child to take care of, the feeling of being exhausted can be overwhelming at times. And this can make women not as excited about their second pregnancies as their first.
According to Mustela, when the needs of firstborn children have to be met, there is not the same downtime as there was with the first pregnancy. Because of this, per publication, fatigue will be felt sooner with the second pregnancy than it was with the first. And when this happens, it helps if moms have a contingency plan to get sleep, even if it is not as much as it was with the first pregnancy.
Further still, running around with a toddler can make the attention more on the toddler than on the second pregnancy. After all, moms want to be in the present for their toddlers. This can mean doing less for themselves pampering-wise during the second pregnancy than they did for their first. And it definitely means less time spent thinking about the second pregnancy as well.
Not Knowing How To Love Second Baby As The First
Giving all of a mother’s heart to her first baby was easy to do. There was no feeling of love like the one experienced with a child and there was no one to split that love with. But, when pregnant with the second baby, there is a concern about not knowing how to love the second baby as much as the first. And that can cause mothers to be less excited about their second pregnancies.
According to Parents, mothers are able to love two children just as much, if not more than just one child. And while the relationship with the second baby will certainly be different from what it was with the first, that does not mean it will be any less special.
However, per the publication, if there are still concerns about bonding with the second baby, doing things like taking prenatal classes, having some quiet time alone to talk to the second baby while pregnant, or anything that helps mothers connect should be done to ease fears and know that a bond is there before second babies are born.
Pregnancy Or Birth Was Difficult The First Time Around
For those who had a difficult birth or pregnancy the first time around, the anxiety that the second could be just as difficult is very real. And because of this, it can make pregnancy with the second baby less exciting than the first.
According to Today’s Parent, when the first pregnancy is difficult, the “anxiety felt is almost constant” with the second one. This means that there is a constant worry of waiting for the other shoe to drop when everything is going well. It can be unnerving.
For those who had a difficult delivery, the time leading up to labor can just feel like a countdown to another difficult time when bringing a baby into the world.
Neither is easy to deal with, and it can be hard to overcome these traumas of the past. But by speaking to a healthcare professional about these fears, they can be assuaged with every positive prenatal appointment there is. And the more positive news that is received, the more the second pregnancy can be enjoyed.
Source: Mustela, Parents, What To Expect, Today’s Parent