Sleep Training Was The BEST Decision I Ever Made & I Will Feel No Shame

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I am tired of feeling shame for a decision I made that was for the benefit of our family. It is hard to be a mom now, and that is largely due to the presence of social media in our lives. While social media is a great place for a mom to hear about the outside world, make some meaningful connections, and just be entertained for a little, it can also be dangerous.

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People have gotten brave since social media came, and this means that they are not afraid to give their opinion on everything you do as a mother, and they are seldom nice and polite about it.


There are also clear things online that moms will judge you for, and this has moms afraid to speak up and ask for help. Internet moms will fight about what to feed a baby, whether they should bed share or not, and even how old they are when they potty-train.

However, they will also fight about sleep training. The mere mention of any type of sleep training is sure to start a conversation, and it is certain to leave someone feeling like they are a “bad mom.”

RELATED: Postpartum Fatigue Is More Than Just “Normal” Sleep Deprivation

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I am here to tell you that if you sleep trained, you are not a bad mom. I sleep-trained all three of my children, and I am done feeling shame for it. We know that there are things that we have to teach our children, and sleep is no different. We have to help guide and teach our children safe sleep habits and these they will carry for the rest of their lives. I have taught my child a skill, and it is a skill that quite literally saved my family.

When my first was born, I didn’t know what I was doing. This is common for first-time moms, but I also underestimated the power of sleep deprivation. I had no idea how bad it could be until I was physically ill and hallucinating because I was so tired. My daughter reached a point where she was waking up every 45 minutes, and this lasted for a week. I wish I could say I was exaggerating, but I wasn’t.

I got no sleep for a week, and that was my breaking point. Not only was I sick, miserable, and seeing things that were not there, my daughter was not happy either. She was not getting the sleep she needed, and this was impacting her health and wellbeing, and something had to change.

I decided that sleep training was going to be the answer. My daughter’s biggest problem was that she had a massive sleep association with breastfeeding. If she slightly woke up in the night, which we all do, she needed the breast to fall back asleep. This was the habit I needed to break. She needed to learn to go to sleep on her own, and this way she would have these mini night wakings, and she would not be afraid of the new surrounding she was in because it was not the same one in which she fell asleep to.

We decided to do a modified Ferber method. This meant that there was some crying involved, but we controlled it when we went back into her room to console her and tell her that we were there. The first night was 45 minutes of going in, consoling, and then leaving again, but that was all it took. She immediately went from being up every 45 minutes to waking 1 time a night to eat and going back to sleep.

A month later, she started sleeping through the night, and she never looked back. Our lives changed. They changed dramatically, and we were all happy, and healthy, and we felt like we had this whole life thing under control.

I went on to have 2 more children, and I knew that we would reach a point when we sleep-trained them as well. My other two were different, they slept perfectly (only waking up 1 to 2 times a night since birth), but the problem was that they needed to transition from a bassinet to a crib in their own room. We did the exact same method, and it took 1 hour for my second, and 40 minutes for my third, and they would go on to be amazing sleepers.

The problem when you shame someone for sleep training is because you rarely (if ever) know the person’s situation, and my state as a sleep-deprived mom was way more dangerous than sleep training itself would ever be.

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