I have been a mom long enough to know that there are topics that are going to instantly start a “mommy way,” topics that seem to be black or white and have no middle ground. The moment you mention your opinion on something, you are going to be judged and shamed by a whole group of moms who don’t agree with you. However, in my opinion, the thoughts of others on how I parent are insignificant. It doesn’t impact my life if I don’t let it, and it is most likely a “them” problem.
In a perfect world, if a mother is not harming their child in any way, everyone would just let people parent and support rather than bring each other down. However, that is not the way the world works so the best I can do is share my story and let moms out there know they are not alone. There are moms out there who think like them.
This piece is going to be on screen time, something that is a big topic of conversation right now in child development.
Screen time is something that is debated by parents everywhere, and even experts cannot seem to agree on what the right amount of time is for a toddler or child to spend on screens. Even though my daughter, who was my first, is now 6 years old, she started on screens at a young age, and I have no regrets about it, and believe it or not, some of it was doctor recommended.
When my daughter was an older infant, about 10 months old, she seemed to go on a food strike. She wouldn’t eat the food in front of her, and she just wanted to play with it. She was already low on the growth scale, and I was concerned about her weight. After talking about my concerns with her doctor, we were talking about different strategies I could try and one of them was screen time.
She told me to put her in front of a screen when she was eating. She may become so entranced with what was on the screen that she wouldn’t even notice that she was eating, and it worked. Whether she fed herself, or I fed her, she was so focused on watching the TV screen that she didn’t notice all the broccoli, peas, and beans she was eating.
My doctor said something that made a lot of sense about screens when dealing with my toddler. She stated simply that this is the world they are growing up in. We find it odd, or excessive because we did not grow up with screens, and our own parents absolutely did not. This was just not how we were raised. However, times and parenting evolve, and they evolve with the way the world does.
Screens and technology are going to be a big part of my child’s life, so I could either strictly limit them all together, or I could start young by teaching her how to use them in a healthy way. This meant only exposing her to education programs, things that would teach her things, like her alphabet, numbers, and colors.
We would then move on to songs and dances, and then on to more complex themes like shows with a strong moral message. There is always something of value that she is watching, and she did learn a lot. She also rarely did it alone. I did not sit her down in front of the TV and walk away. It was interactive, so while I may have let her overindulge in screen time, it was simply just a tool that I used to further her learning.
Were there moments when I used it as a “babysitter?” Absolutely, because I am only human, and sometimes I would like to eat lunch or go to the bathroom. However, that was not the norm, and it is not fair to judge moms who use screen time with their toddlers.
For moms who are worried that their little ones are spending too much time in front of screens, don’t worry. This daughter is now 6, and while she still spends time on screens, and she has evolved to be more into games, she has a healthy relationship with it. She knows when it is time to put it away or do something else, and she absolutely knows what she is allowed to be watching.
The truth is, we all overindulge in things in life, and they don’t make us bad or unhealthy people.